Saturday honeymoon?

Good Morning/Evening Saturday Peeps,A bright and breezy start to the day ere,,,,,,,,,,

Hope you enjoyed your "Wedding day"yesterday,,and get to enjoy some honeymoon "Perks"today..After an enforced "Dry spell"Elise will be making up for lost time today no doubt with a glass or three,,so a big CHEERS Sweetie,glad you are finally pain free!! xx

Have a terrific day whatever mischief beckons!

I've been asked to tag along behind some friends going on a bike ride,,whatdya think??...........

Cheers

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting.

 As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor.

 The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"

 

A Royal Friday

Happy Royal Friday Bollockeers !

THE BIG EVENT kicks off today.
Best of luck to the happy couple.

About the best of the 'tat that I could find...I expect there is worse out there !

My 2 are starting the celebrations early, and have prime spots to watch it all from !


Hope they leave you some cake Big Guy !

Beautiful, warm, sunny day here in The Rebel County. I will be relaxing with a Latte [extra, with brown sugar] on my own about 1130am. That's a great start to my 2 weeks of freedom !

Have a good one people, and enjoy the festivities.

xxxx

Thursday crop

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,,,bright and sunny start to the day and thankfully  "Quackless"(Morning Elise xx)this morning!

Braving "Da Boro" this afta for a mop crop as I am starting to take on a slightly "Worzel Gummidge" look!(Morning George)

Still havn't received my invite to "The"wedding as yet but as it clashes with my BS and crack waxing appointment probably just as well! 

Need to get the garden sorted it's really gone to "Pot!"

Enjoy your day Folks,

Cheers

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store..
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well... Only two left."

Seniors -- don't mess with them!

Quacking Hump day?

Good Morning/Evening fellow Humpsters,,,Sex on the lawn in the back garden this morning(Morning George),,ffflippin ducks quacking at 645am,,,4 males and 1 female intent on making ducklets!,,(Well the males were!!)......chased off the horny lads leaving an exhausted lady to recover,,,she rested for about 5mins before chasing off after the boys!!(Morning Elise) LMAO.......

Not a bad start to the day ere but a lot cooler,,,hammock rolled up for the time being,

Spot of work catch up for me today after "Goofing off"while the sun was out,,could take a while!

Happy Hump day Folks,

 

Cheers

So there's a penguin driving through the desert and its hot.... really hot. The penguin drives for several hours through the scorching desert until his car breaks down.

The penguin pulls out his cell phone and calls a local auto shop. The mechanic brings the tow truck to the penguins car, picks him up and takes him and his car back to the auto shop.

When they arrive the mechanic says "It's going to take me a few hours to fix your car, why don't you walk around town and entertain yourself for awhile."

The penguin leaves the auto shop and as he walks out the door notices an ice cream shop... "a little taste of home" he thinks to himself.

The penguin walks over to the ice cream shop and orders his favorite frozen treat... vanilla ice cream. He sits down at a table and goes to town on his vanilla ice cream, making a huge mess and getting ice cream all over himself. He finishes his ice cream and heads back to the auto shop.

When he arrives the mechanic comes out and says "Well sir, its looks like you blew a seal" to which the penguin replies "Oh no, its just ice cream"  

 

Tuesday Titters

GOOOD MOONING ALL

 

Don't know about the rest of Britain,

but the North seems to have BIG internet problems today.

Phil's been cut off for hours, and I've only just got a connection.

Maybe we've upset the censors? lol

I BLAME IT ON THIS DAMN

ROYAL WEDDING!

 

 

 

Royal wedding sick bags making a splash

01/03/2011, by AFP

Groundhog day? :))

Good Morning/Evening long wekenders,,,Ground hog day here with yet another sunny and fine start.may take my new phone out for walk this afta!.......................................................

Some good films on today(NOT)if you fancy 5 hours of the 10 Commandments with Chuck Hestonbut George will be pleased as his all time favourite is on ,,,Mary Poppins!..he knows all the songs by heart and maybe with a bit of persuasion at the MIL in June??...............

Have a terrific day with whatever mischief you can get away with!

Cheers 

 

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out,the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke.  'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.'

'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.'

'I agree,' says the Father.  'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?'

'Anything, Father.'

'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.'

'Well,under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'

The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty..

'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?' She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

Father, could I ask something of you?'

'Yes, Sister?'

'I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?'

'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe.

'Oh Father, may I touch it?'

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life.'

'Is that true Father?'

'Yes, it is,  Sister.'

'Oh Father, that's wonderful... stick it in the camel and let's get the f**k out of here!'