Thursday defeat.

Good Morning/Evening Chilled Bollockeers,,,thanks George for those words of wisdom,(Looking good too!!!)

Had to be at the hossy for 930am this morning to check my hand op out, but had to admit defeat with the car got well stuck on tne now very icy and snowy side road,,coupla neighbours pushed me out and I rocked and rolled home.

Frustrating when the main roads are clear!!,,looking forward to the melt due over the next few days!

Happy Thursday!

Cheers

Final Exam

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

 

 

Thursday: Truer words were never spoken.....

Truer words have never been spoken.....

THE MEANING OF LIFE IN 13 WORDS

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the fuck happened".

Murky Humpday.

Good morning/evening Humpsters,Murky start tio the day here with sleet and a brisk wind.

South West seems to be getting the snow at the moment,,did Grant make it back from Devon??

Just off to roll the sled out to take Hilary to work although our main roads round here are now clear(For the moment?)

Have a good HUMP day,

Cheers

YOU CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE OLD PEOPLE........

A  jet is making its final approach to St. John 's Airport. .

The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into St. John 's  Newfoundland  . I want to thank you all for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay on the "ROCK"

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The co-pilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're on the Rock?'

'Well,' says the skipper, 'first  I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap.....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and  dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.'

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new  stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of  the plane.

She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's  bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear.............

He's gotta land the plane and take a s**t first.'

 

 

Tuesday Milder?

Good Morning/Evening,,chilled Peeps,positive heatwave here with temperatures up to freezing point and even nudging over,

Tootling off to hossy this afta to tell my Onco what my next treatment should be!LOL

Hope you all have a "Slitherless" day on da roads!!

Cheers

French Paratroops,,,,,,,,,

Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training. After the first day they met up in the bar.

Ah, Pierre," asks one, " 'ow 'av you been doiiing?"

Merde!" answers Pierre. "I 'av 'ad a MOS' terrible day. Terrible!

At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."

"And Zen what 'appened?" inquires his mate.

"I weel tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis silly leetle platform five feet off ze ground and Zen 'e said "Jurmp!"."

'And did you jump?" asks his mate.

"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jump five feet. It is beneass my dignity.'"

"And Zen what 'appened?" asks his mate.

"Zen 'e made me climb up zis silly leetle platform ten feet off ze ground, and 'e said "Jump!"."

"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.

!I did not. I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper. It is beneass my dignity to jump ten feet."

"What 'appened Zen?" asks his mate.

"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform a 'undred feet above ze parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous willy, and said: 'If you do not jurmp, I am going to stick zis right urp your burm.'"

"Ooooh!" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?"

"A Leetle, .at ze beginning."

 

No Monday Moaning?

Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,Coo a "Moanless"start to the day from George happy with his "Shoveless" morning!,LOL

Same here, nice to have a respite from the white stuff falling however brief.

Roads driveable for a change so off to replenish supplies(Low level Tonic alarm going off!)

Whatever you're up to have fun!

Cheers

Blonde Joke.......

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He goes through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big Blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating Blonde jokes!!! "What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? "It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community and reaching my full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against Blondes... all in the name of humor!!" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up... "You stay out of this, I'm talking to that little son-of-a-bitch sitting on your knee

 

 

Monday No Shovelling!

Gooood moaning good peeps.
A second day here without having to clear snow - I hope the rest of you are enjoying a respite too.
Yep, I know it's only a brief pause, but it sure was welcome.
Even the Angel of the North is visible again (for now!)

Have a great, QUIET day!

Bugger it moment!

 

Latest container load of shovels will be delayed, damn it!!!