Hot Hump?

Good Morning fellow Humpsters,Predictions of warmer weather today,(believe it when I see it)

Humping paint tins today,about as close as I'll get!!!,,wonder if Samantha has her batteries recharged after her exhausting few months?

Been scnning Hello magazine for wedding pics but as yet nowt! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Enjoy your midweek Hump,

Cheers

THE BLIND CASHIER A woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says. As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed but then realises there is no way the blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted. The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44. How did you get to £58.50?" He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

 

 

 

Grey Tuesday.

Good Morning/Evening Peeps,Grey start to the day here as I continue my artistic efforts in the bedroom (Shaddup George!)LOL

Found this 1940 pic of the Tour de France you might be interested in ,,,,

 

Enjoy your Tuesday Folks,

Cheers

 

                        
                                      THE BROTHEL                                                         
  The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late  forties or early fifties.                                           
                                                                     
  "May I help you sir?" she asked.                                   
                                                                     
  "I want to see Valerie," the man replied.                           
                                                                     
  "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.
                                                                     
  "No, I must see Valerie," he replied.                               
                                                                     
  Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left...
                                                                     
  The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie... Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive. There were no discounts. The price was still £5000.
                                                                     
  Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
                                                                     
  The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.                 
                                                                     
  After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"                                                             
                                                                     
  The man replied, " Edinburgh .."                                     
                                                                     
  "Really", she said. " I have family in Edinburgh .."               
                                                                     
  "I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I'm her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver your £15,000
  inheritance in person."                                             
                                                                     
  The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.   
                                                                     
  1. Death                                                           
                                                                     
  2. Taxes                                                           
                                                                     
  3. Being screwed by a lawyer                                        

Michelangelo Thompson?

Good Morning/Evening campers,,,Late start for me after a late night of Poker with a coupla friends,,Hilary as ALWAYS cleaned up!

Embarking (reluctantly)redecorating our bedroom,today and will be donning a shower capto avoid the drips off the roller(Yeah okay, and I look a right drip in it too!)LOL

Enjoy your Monday Peeps and have a great week

Cheers

One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action.

'Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?'

'Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in Comicland. Why don't you try her?' replied Batman.

'I'd love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don't really want to take advantage of her.'

'Damn shame,' said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off.

Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down.

'Hey GL, I'm looking for a little action. You're a swinging bachelor, who's the best babe in Comicland?'

'Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonder Woman is far and away the best lay in Comicland, why don't you try her?'

'Well, we're sort of friends,' Superman said, 'but I didn't realize she had gotten around so much' and he flew off in frustration.

Twenty minutes later Superman was flying over a field when he saw Wonder Woman lying naked, in the middl e of the field, with her legs apart and up in the air. Superman was tempted. He thought to himself, 'I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I'm here.'

So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone. Wonder Woman stared up into the sky with a dazed expression. 'What the hell was that??' she exclaimed.

'I don't know,' said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, 'but my arse is killing me.

 

 

WELCOME HOME SUE

It's great to see Sue (Clemmie) from France back with us.

Love your new 'handle' Sue,

CLEMMIEKINS

Welcome Home!!!

Sunday Sex!

Good Morning/Evening my pious chums and chumettes,Despite my best efforts the grass in the garden continues to grow albeit slower but still needs to be cropped today,

Speaking of which,,,earlier this morning two wabbits were cavorting on the lawn when I got up and started to have vigorous sex while my pussy and I looked on with a critical eye,,they were soon joined by a third wabbit which proceeded to join in the fun,,obviously gay he took advantage of the situation and and rodgered the male rabbit while he in turn rodgered the lady wabbit!,,the whole proceeding took less than three minutes which reminded me of the following funny!..

Enjoy your Sunday

Cheers

LOVE IN THE KITCHEN!

She is in the kitchen preparing to poach eggs for breakfast. He walks in. She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me -- this very moment." His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the kitchen table. Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove. More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?" She explains, "The egg timer's broken."

Happy Birthday Khan.

Well done Khan on putting up with George for 13 years!!!!!Have a GREAT Doggie day!!

Saturday dreaming of pussies!

Good Morning/Evening weekenders,,,Battleship grey skies and cool here on Teesside "Happy 1st August!"LOL

Strange dreams in the early hours of George's hairless pussy!,,I am hoping for a prettier post from him this morning,,,,Perhaps something like>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Have a Great weekend Folks,

Cheers

Shopping at Tesco

One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!". "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. "There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Club card points." So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposited five pounds, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The computer printed the following: 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet. 3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.