SATURDAY
Magnificent West Bromwich Albion promoted to premiership!
SUNDAY
AM, my head hurts, vow never to drink again.
PM, in pub discussing West Brom's chances of winning the premiership next year over a few jars.
MONDAY
The NHS Bowel Cancer testing kit arrives in the post with full instructions on how to use it!
I shall have fun (not) over the next few days providing these samples!
TUESDAY
Contacted by HM Revenue & Customs, my small company, chosen at random to have its tax returns checked!!
Must spend the next few days checking my returns for the last few years!!!
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This reminds me of one of my favourite stories:-
A man owns a small company.
The tax office claimed he was not paying proper wages and so an inspector would call to interview him.
Inspector, "I need a list of employees and how much you pay them"
Man,"Well, there is my delivery driver, he has been with me 3 years, I pay him £400.00 each week plus room and board. He get double time for deliveries Saturday & Sunday and free beer on Friday evenings.
My secretary has been here 18 months and I pay her £250.00 each week. She is only part time, does not work weekends but I bought her a satellite TV last Christmas.
Then there is the 'Half-Wit'. He works 18 hours a day, he does 90% of the work. He makes about £50.00 each week. I buy him a whiskey each Friday evening. He sleeps with my wife occasionally".
Inspector, " That's the guy I want to speak with, the 'Half-Wit'".
Man, "That would be me"!
WBA and the Magpies straight back into the premiership.
ReplyDeleteYou were right, Mike, but I never thought they's both do it so easily!
Hasn't this season flown over? Geeeeeez!
Love the tax joke, and I have a confession to make.....my first job on leaving school was with the Inland Revenue.
Almost as bad as you being a policeman! lol