Tuesday Shocker!

Good Morning All




It's butt-clenching time as the big day looms.
(SAT 30th JUNE)

So, to ease our nerves...Let's all talk

BOLLOCKS
(Nothing new there then!)

Did you hear about the unluckiest guys in Jarrow?

The mind boggles!

Monday: Sunny start for bushy business!

Good Morning All

First of all,
here's me running away from La Duck last night.
You can see I had a good head start on her, lol.



That big blazing yellow thing is in the sky
for the first time since the last week in May.

At last I can re-open my bush-trimming business.
Of course, I'm having to manage single handedly since Capn Phil resigned!

Pictures of my handiwork coming up!
(Now taking bookings within a 300 mile radius of Tyneside)

Happy Farters Day ! :-)

Happy Farters Day !

To all you old farts on here, especially George !

Yes George, I can say that, as I am the youngest on here, and you [stupidly] made me admin of the site too ! Ha ! Must have been a bad meds day that you made that executive decision !  



Lil' Duck has returned !

How you all been doing then ?

Madness and craziness reign here [you have NO idea]
 and have barely managed to survive these last few weeks.


Lets see, in a nutshell...

1] JJ had Chickenpox

2] Then Eilise got Chickenpox

3] I was offered a Directors position at work

4] Chest pain easing


That about covers it, apart from day to day catastrophes.

Hope you all have a GREAT day today !

Lots of love from the one and only

Lil' Duck !

Saturday: The prodigal monkey returns??

Dear Friends

Thank you all for keeping the site ticking over during the past 10 days while I struggled with my Virgin.

I still haven't tamed her, but she seems a bit calmer today.
Which is more than I can say for myself!
Which one of you impertinent people posted this to my inbox??



My war with Richard Branson's Cowboys has escalated to new heights, and I suppose you can guess how recent phone conversations have went......

1) to an imbecilic Indian call centre wallah


2) to the accounts department at V Media:






And finally..... talking myself:




Anyway, it's GOOD to be back
(and you all know I'm at my happiest when having a good old moan!) lol

And now, for the sheer hell of it.......
another thought for today:

Minge beats whinge hands down!

Saturday Sunny.......

BIT WINDY........BUT DRY & SUNNY FOR A CHANGE......

 

JUST LOOKING IN TO SEE WHAT EVERYONE'S DOING......YEP.....LOOKING BACK AT YER...!!!!!!.......pmsl

 

NOT FOR GEORGE THOUGH, AS HIS 'VIRGIN'IS PLAYING UP YET  AGAIN...

JUST HOPE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO ENTER A NEW PASSWORD TO GET ONLINE AS THIS GUY HAD TO RECENTLY.........

A lady helps her man install a new computer.
Once it is completed,
she tells him to select a password,
a word that he'll always remember.
as the computer asks him to enter it,
he looks at his wife and with a macho
gesture and a wink in his eye, he selects
a word but he is annoyed with her reaction,
when he selects: penis.
As he hits "enter", to validate the selection,
his wife collapses with laughter and
rolls on the floor in hysteria


The computer had replied:

TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED.!!!

 

 

There's a new sex position in the Karma Sutra called 'The Plumber'. 
 
Both of you stay in all day, and nobody comes!!

 

 

HAVE A GREAT DAY.....EVEN BETTER AFTER ENGLANDS WIN LAST NIGHT...

 

George off-line again!

Morning everyone,

George is very angry with his Virgin again.

He says he shares his Virgin with half of the Tyneside area all of whom are off-line.

Says it is a disgrace.

I told him to calm down and have a lie down in a darkened room.

 Time will soon pass by.

 

I have told him to use the other toys that he has until he gets back on line.

 

 

And now is the time to stop visiting those suspect sites!

 

SUNNY START TO THURSDAY

GOOD MORNING ALL.

 

George is off for his Jab,     Ian is still poorly,   Elise although back at work, I think is still poorly,  BUT how is everyone else ?

 

So Spurs have lost Rednap,  shame.

 

What are Englands chances tomorrow ?