Thursday Quiet

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,,,nice start to the day up ere but da lawns are looking a bit parched!

Quiet day predicted on B2PCa today with the ladies away "Doing lunch"George and me were invited but only on condition we brought our own nipple tassles,posing pouches and provided the "Entertainment!"

Not wishing to cause mass hysteria amongst their number we have politely declined the invitation.

Enjoy your day with or without nipple tassles

 

Cheers

 

Rye Bread........

 

 Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day.  It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery.  As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.

He said, "Do you have any Rye bread?"

She said, "Yes,  there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves."

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves .... by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard."

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me."

 

May the fourth..

Good Morning/Evening fellow Humpsters... just have to post George's favourite to say.........

Nice sunny morning again,but shopping palour "instore"for me with Hilary off today and a new bed on the cards,,so a tootle round pressure testing dem miracoils "lies"ahead!..

Hope your "Hump"in the week is a a pleasant one as we slide rapidly down towards the weekend!

 

Cheers

May get the train into town!! .................................

Hey I gotta clean one!!!

The Half-wit...............

 Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff,..." he asked Paddy. "Well," said Paddy, "there’s the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage. Then there’s the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging. There’s also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."

 "That’s disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."

"That’ll be me then," said Paddy"

Tuesday catch up..

Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Peeps,,,more sunshine and blue skies as we nibble into May!

Bin Laden taking up most of the news over the weekend I only just found out that our own boxing champ Henry Cooper has died..he sure gave Ali a scare when he knocked him down in the ring!

Seems to have been a quiet weekend for all the Bollockeers,,Elise now safely "Undercover"down Oxford way with her Sis before "popping in"on her Mum and Dad.

A ,little exercise anyone?...........................

Have a good week Folks,

Cheers

Both o' them? .......................

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds. "Hello der girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag th' both of ye, so he did." "Fook off you liar!".they both say,

 "I'll prove it, so I will," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both o' them, Paddy?" "Of course,"Paddy replies, "What's the use of fookin' one?"

 

Bank Holiday,,Again??

Good Morning/Evening Monday Peepsand yet another Bank Holiday dawns for mischief and carousing

Elise is heading our way as I post, aboard a ferry for a surprise visit to Mum and Dad,,weather looking good so hopefully a smooth crossing in store.

So they finally nailed Osama Bin Laden,only taken 10 years!, I bet if he'd owed a few bob to the Inland Revenue he's have been found "Toot Sweet!!

Have a terrific Bank Holiday,,whatever mischief is in store!

Anyone for tennis?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Cheers

A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. "I`d like some raisin bread, please," the man says politely.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.
As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction.
Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down. After a few trips the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below.
She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng. "Is yours raisin too?" the clerk yells testily.
"No," croaks the feeble old man.... "But it's startin' to twitch!"

Time to get yer pole up!

Good Morning/Evening Sunday Chums and Chummettes and a VERY Happy May 1st!,.......

George will be getting his pole out today for a practise session with the "Jarrow Pigeon fanciers,cloth cap, whippet amd Morris dancers allotment society"...he has several bookings already for his maypole and Morris dancers and his footwork as he twirls his ribbons around his mapole is something to behold!

Nothing as exciting for me today just a tootle to the coast for a pub lunch

Enjoy your Sunday and here's hoping for a positive May for all.and maybe a titter or three today!!,,.........................................

Cheers

.Married Bliss.............

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it will take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April',he hollered into the bathroom,'Why did you putTalcum Powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snigger. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!!