Thursday sun???

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,,,Coo we have that yellow thing in the sky back?,,,still cool here though.

 After yesterday's Trojan assault on my puter ,I seem to be back to normal(Shaddup George)and bug free.

Mop crop for me today as I'm starting to look like George again,and havn't seen my lugs for a while!

While I was posting the sun has gone,now overcast again!,,,,it was nice while it lasted(about 4 minutes!) LOL

Happy Thursday,

Cheers

Loose Fart...............

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night, waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!"

The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Certainly Madam, which way was it headed?"

 

Wednesday, Is Phil 'On The Road Again'?

G'day All You GOOD Peeples,
(That even includes you, McStavros!)

I'm soooo late today...just one of those 'orrible mornings. And I was amazed to see Phil hadn't beat me to the first post as usual.
Now I'm worried......
Has he got his driving ban lifted and is now heading up the A19 to cause trouble on Tyneside?

PAUL'S (Denzel) BIRTHDAY

Start:

Jun 7, '11

Dull Tuesday

Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Bollockeers,,,another dull start to the day here in Northern Climes,,suitable for a spot of gardening,,,I've been giving it threatening looks for a while now,so time for action.....

May call on George's expertise with large bushes as I have a huge Rhodedendron that needs attention!

Have a good un' Folks

Cheers

Medical warning - loss of appetite

 

A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?' He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'

 At lunchtime she asked him if he would like something. 'a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?' He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my desire for food.' Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 'Would you

like a juicy rib eye steak and scrumptious ap ple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?' He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra....I'm still not hungry.

'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving.'

 

Manky Monday..

Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,Hope you all had a cracking weekend,even George who was riding shotgun on his Grandkids,...

Grey "Manky"start to the week here,,and cooler..

Hilary off for a coupla days,and I did hear mention the dreaded "M"word when she was on the phone this morning,,,METRO CENTRE!Oh Joy!!!..a lifetime of standing outside women's changing rooms!

Hope your day is slightly more exciting,

Cheers

I've actually got a clean one!!..................................

A man goes to a public  golf course. He approaches the man behind  the counter in the pro shop and says, "I  would like 18 holes of golf and  a caddie."

The man behind the  counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is  no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this:  We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies.  If you're willing to take one with you out on  the course and come back and tell me how well  it works, your round of golf is on me today." The golfer obviously accepted the  man's offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I  think my driver will do the  job."

The robot caddie turned to the  man and said, "No sir.. Use your 3

wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole."  Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance. As the golfer pulled out  his putter he said, "I think this green is gonna break left to right."  The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do  believe this green will break right to left."

Thinking about the last  time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine. He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to  the robot and his advice. But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of  the new robot golf caddie.

Upon  returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game ?"   The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much  for letting me take one of your robots. See  you next week."

A week passed, and  excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering, he turned to the man  behind the counter and said, "I would like 18  holes of golf and one of those robot golf  caddies, please."

The gentleman behind the counter turned to the man and  said, "Well the 18 holes is no problem.  However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many mplaints."

"COMPLAINTS? Who in their right mind would've complained about those  robots? They were incredible."

The  man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their  performance.  It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting  off them was blinding to other golfers on the  fair-way."

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did.  Then, four of 'em  didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other thinks he's the  President!!!"

 

Al's Birthday

Fish & Chips on the pier at Brighton followed by rugby match in Dublin - sheer bliss :-)

Sunday pussy...

Good Morning/Evening Sunday Chums and Chumettes,,,bit bleary eyed this morning after being woken at 520 am by a pussy demanding attention,,,Jasmine our moggy produced a furball worthy of the Guiness book of records......woken again at 730 by same pussy wanting feeding!,,,,Sometimes I think pussies are more trouble than they are worth!,,(Hmmmmmmm maybe not!)

Enjoy a relaxing Sunday,

Cheers

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it was always occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room but only if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall. I would need to explain them to you first..."

"No time for explanations" the man quipped as he rushed off to do his business. He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Explain how they work indeed! How difficult can these buttons be? He thought to himself.

He just couldn't resist.. He pushed the button labeled WW Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure! The man was in heaven!!

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, was in the emergency room, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."

The nurse sighed, "The ATR button is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.