Thursday drizzle..

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,,,Drizzly grey start to the day here in Northern Climes,,,

Just about to scoot off for the four weekly PSA that sems to come round quicker each time

Time also for my pussy to feel a small prick later as it's her booster jab this afta,

Bon Voyage to Mike and Kath as they wing there way westwards(hopefully, ash cloud permitting!)

Have a "Good un'"Folks

Cheers

Dying wish...

A man is told that he only has 24 hours to live. He tells his wife and asks if they can make love one last time..

Crying and upset she agrees, and they have mind blowing sex. After 12 hours he asks again, and she gives him the best blow job he has ever had.
4 hours to go, and he begs for one last go, "F**K OFF" she said, "I'M NOT BEING FUNNY BUT, I'VE GOT TO GET UP IN THE MORNING, YOU DON'T"

 

 

Winter Wednesday

Goood Mooning Good Peeps



Hey, what is WRONG with this weather?

It's getting colder as the weeks go by!


Bugger it, I admit defeat.


My old thermal vest is back on....but I draw the line at Long Johns!

Murky Hump day

Good Morning/Evening fellow Humpsters,,,grey dismal start to the day here but mild,.....Looks like George is keeping his "Old chestnuts"tucked away this morning!LOL

Hilary off and on a cleaning spree today so I'm escaping to stock take in my shedtill the madness passes!

Had a postcard from Sherri yesterday,she is hoping that the volcano starts again and they get stuck there!

Enjoy your Hump day Folks,

Cheers,

Mickey Mouse Wants A Divorce

Judge: Look here Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie.

Mickey (stunned): Why not?

Judge: I have reviewed all the information you gave the court, but i can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy.

Mickey (exasperated): Your honor! I didn't say she was crazy... I said she was fu**ing Goofy!

 

May...old chestnut

I can hear the groans
all the way up here on Tyneside
LOL
Five years I've been guilty of inflicting this old chestnut on the net!

Bank Holiday,,Yeah right!

Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,Remembered straight away it was a Bank Holiday when I got up,,it was dark,cold,windy and raining!

Will be giving the beach a swerve today and having a stoppy in day,,,

Bagged a coupla sofa's yesterday,was in and out in half an hour(Shaddup George! LOL)and avoided the rush to leave the Metro Cenre at 4pm.

Whatever you're up to this hot sunny Bank Holiday(Yeah right!)Have fun!

Cheers,

-------------------------
Six Minutes Late
-------------------------

There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 6 minutes late.

On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round.

Following Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 6 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golf's left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with George always saying that he may be 6 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed.

The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was.

They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be six minutes late.

You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?

George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy.

Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping On her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.''

''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?''

George replies, ''Then I am 6 minutes late.''

 

 

 

Sunday shop..:(

Good Morning/Evening my pious Sunday Chums and Chumettes(Yeah right!LOL)

Another grey start to the day here up North but as yet no rain,,,Alas it's  another "Shop"day for me as her Ladyship has decided we need new couches,,(She may be right as my backside is getting dangerously close to the deck when I park myself in my favourite spot!)

Sods law that the 4 she has narrowed it down to online are all in a store at the ruddy Metro Centre near Newcastle.

Enjoy a "Shop free Sunday!"

Cheers

Deaf Sex Code

A man marries a deaf woman and tells her. We need to sort out a code. "If I want sex I'll touch your left breast, and if you do, you pull my c**k once!" he tells her.

"If you don't, pull my c**k 150 times."

Whar a grey day!

Good Morning/Evening Saturday Peeps,Grey and dark here to start the day and looks like rain in the offing,,(Get out of jail card re gardening!)

Steven our SIL texted yesterday to see he had a badly sunburnt nose after falling asleep on  a beach in Fort Lauderdale, Florida,(I wish!!!!)LOL

Whatever you're up to today have fun and have a great Bank Holiday weekend,

Cheers

Little Johnny.........

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'

 She calls on little Johnny. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.' The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'

 Then little Johnny says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'

 The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.' To which Little Johnny replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'