Good Morning/Evening Bollockeers,,I hope George doesn't mind but thought I should let you know that sadly on Thursday night Khan his beloved Afghan passed away.
He died in George's arms after a long period of 24/7 care by both George and Lynn..
Anyone who has lost a much loved companion such as Khan will know the void their passing leaves
Hugs for George and family
Phil and Hilary.,.,
I think the reason that the Cathederal was left standing when everything else around was flattened during the bombing was to show the Germans the incredible accuracy of our "Blanket bombing(Yeah right)"where we could still pinpoint buildings to leave untouched,,,,,,and of course for the Germans every time they gazed at the wonder left by our our good graces to give them the "Oh de Cologne!"
Survived the shopathon at the Metro Centre(Just)but have been left deeply scarred by the experience!
Enjoy the fine weather and have a great Ffffffriday!
Cheers
A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"!
Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers...."
The woman giggles and replies," Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!"
Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."
.................................................................
I've just found out I can still have sex at 55 I am so happy because I live at 60, so it's not far to walk home .
Just got back from Cologne, Germany and the bi-annual International Hand Tool Show.
Arrived there last Sunday, it was fabulous weather (snowing, windy and cold) just the sort of weather we involved in Shovels pray for!
Weather deteriorated the next day (sunny and warmer).
Saw the MAGNIFICENT Cologne Cathedral and left wondering again how did the RAF miss it during WW2 when all around was flattened!
Back to the Hand Tool Trade Show.
The 'tool' theme there was 'Bigger is Better'!!
Of course, I disagreed saying the way you use them is more important than size.
However, the youngsters there only think of the number of times they are used, not the quality (I am sure this is an age thing).
Back home to my office now for a rest and to pick up on recent postings.
Mike.
Good Morning/Evening fellow Bollockeers,
Makes no difference for me today however as I have to endure the day with Hilary indoors at the Metro Centre the biggest shopping edifice built to torment men!!
Although there are also cinemas a,bowling alley,nice little themed restaurants and Tapas bars ets,it's unlikely I will be "allowed"inside when she has her "Shoppers head on!
Hope your day is "Shopping free!"
Cheers
A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: October 16, 2008 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was... P.S.It's f***ing hot down here!
Good Morning/Evening Peeps and a very happy Hump day!
Four weekly PSA test today,pity we don't get air miles with em!!
Hilary off tomorrow and Friday and the dreaded "Metro Centre"was mentioned so I will be making the most of a quiet Wednesday,,
Have a good un' Peeps,
Cheers
Tiger and the Pope
The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven.
The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.
"However", the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified".
Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell.
On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from Heaven and they stop to have a chat.
"Sorry about the mix up", apologises the Pope.
"No problem" replied Tiger Woods.
Pope says,"I am really anxious to get to Heaven"
Tiger replies,"Why is that?"
Pope says,"All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary"
Tiger says,"You're a day late."
I hear they have laid on some snow in Germany for Mike's tool jolly,,,enabling them to get their tools out to compare size and performance!
Have a good un'Folks,
Cheers
Found this old one in my "Funny file" still makes me titter!...
Stay of Execution
-------------------------
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution.
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it."
And on and on and on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.
He whirled around and yelled, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!"
Beautiful sunny start to the month here,, maybe get a sign of two of Spring sometime during the month(won't hold my breath!)
Have a great day and I hope all your leaks are BIG ones!!!
Cheers
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.
" MEN NEVER LISTEN!"
