Sunday sun!

Good Morning/Evening Sunday Folks,Blue sky and sunshine here for a change..looks like a Summers day apart from the snow and icicles!!!LOL

Late start after a late night losing my pocket money to Hilary at poker again!,,SIL Steven left shirtless too!

Trans polar trek shortly to the local for a pub lunch and a coupla jars of the local brew..

Enjoy your Sunday,

From an American Newspaper

This was apparently in the Washington Post - the title of which was, "Best Come Back Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he was just...... pumping away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? F**k me, is it midnight already?"

 

 

Saturday slalom.

Good Morning/Evening Saturday Peeps,Late post from me after spending most of the morning trying to get my motor to the main road,,

Hilary only just made it home from work last night,,,No buses, No taxis,I was marooned in deep snow,,fortunately a women in a 4x4 Range Rover who she knew vaguely came to her rescue and she got back after trying for two hours.

So we BOTH have a stoppy in day today,,I may wander up to George's allotment and join him gathering some snow beans!

Enjoy your snowy weekend,

Cheers

Once upon a time there was a fly flying six inches above some water in a river. Out of nowhere a bass came along and saw the fly that was flying six inches above the water and said, "I wish that fly would drop four inches so I can jump up out of the water and eat the fly."

Then come along a bear and he saw what was going on and then he said,

"I wish that fly would only drop four inches, so the bass could jump out of the water and eat the fly, so I could grab and eat the bass."

Not long after that had happened a hunter came along and saw everything that was going on and said, "I wish that fly would just drop four inches so that the bass could jump out of the water and eat the fly, so the bear could go over and catch and eat the bass, so I could shoot the bear and have a nice trophy."

A few minutes later a mountain lion stops behind a bush and sees what is going on and says,

"I wish that fly would just drop four inches so the bass could jump out of the water and eat the fly, so the bear could go over and catch and eat the bass, and the hunter could shoot the bear, so I could jump out of this bush and land on the hunter and eat him."

All of a sudden the fly drops four inches so the bass jumps and eats the fly, the bear grabs and eats the bass, the hunter shoots the bear, and the mountain lion jumps over the hunter and lands right in the water.

And the moral of the story is: WHEN THE FLY DROPS, THE PUSSY GETS WET.

 

Saturday ; Day 24 of The ICE Age

Gooood mooning Folks

I had a good post all ready , some good photos too - just had to click on 'Send' - and then I find Multiply is f''ked up YET AGAIN.

I may be gone a while ( a la Captain Oakes)...."I am just going outside and may be some time".

Happy Sledging, and Be careful Out There!

Fffffffffffffffriday already?

Good Morning/Evening frozen Peeps,,,8 inches here overnight(Shaddup George!)and our road is now well snowed in,,,my shovel handle bust yesterday whilst snow shifting but thankfully Mike has emailed me a new one!,,Cheers Mike!

Hilary donning snow shoes and atempting to get to the main road and hop a  bus ride to work if they are running?

Ideal curry weather so I will be whipping up a bum burner this afta for tonight in an attempt get the blood circulating!

Stay warm!

Cheers 

Years of Devotion - Prayers at the West Wall

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

 

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

 

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

 

'Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

 

'Morris Fishbien,' he replied.

 

'Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?'

 

'For about 60 years.'

 

'60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?'

 

'I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.'

 

'I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop. '

 

'I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.'

 

'How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?'

 

'Like I'm talking to a fu**ing ' wall.'

 

 

On the piste again!

/Evening frozen Bollockeers,,,,,outdoors here now resembling a promo ad for a ski holiday in the Alps!!,,basic supplies in some stores running low here and I had a scary moment yesterday when I had to visit three before finding life's essentials,,,,Schweppes tonic!

If you're driving today (I guess you must have a snowmobile??)take it easy

Cheers

Old lady in the lift

An old woman is going up in a lift in a very Iavish department store when a young, beautiful woman gets in, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly: 'Romance by Ralph Lauren, £100 a bottle.' Then another young woman gets in the lift, She also turns to the old woman and says snootily, 'Chanel No 5, £150 a bottle.' A few floors later, the old woman has reached her destination. As she gets out, she looks both woman in the eye, then turns round, bends over and farts, saying: 'Brussel sprouts, 25p a pound.'

 

Stay at home Hump day!!

Good Morning/Evening cool Peeps,,Just a quickie on this snowy Hump day before I try to get her Ladyship to work,,,I'm give it a go but it looks a bit grim out there so may have to  put up with Hilary having an "At home day"!

Have a "Chilled"Hump day Folks,,no choice I know!!LOL

Cheers

Liverpool FC

Players from Liverpool FC visited Alder Hay childrens hospital over the christmas period,

"It's very rewarding to put a smile back on the faces of those suffering adversity and an uphill struggle," said Danny Brown aged 6.

 

 

More white stuff!

Morning/Evening Arctic Peeps,,,more snow and disruption ere and just about all over by the looks of it.

Bought a few bottles of plonk yesterday and foolishly left em in the boot overnight,,,Frozzed solid this morning when I went to retrieve em!

Off to slide Hilary to work now,,stay safe,

Cheers

Here is one you CAN show your elderly Aunt(For a change)

The Helpful Farmer

A farmer stopped by the local garage to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home. While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 160 Mockingbird Lane ?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot." The old lady suggested, " Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time." The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?" The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."