Thanks for the advice George re Middlesbrough crabs,,I know they are much easier to catch than Whitby ones,but mine go down much better!
Enjoy your Friday and hope you are set fair for a great weekend!
Cheers
-------------------------
Tiger Woods
-------------------------
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf
club is his wife.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can
drive a ball 400 yards.
Ping just offered Tiger Woods' wife an endorsement contract
pushing her own set of drivers. They'll be named Elin Woods "the
clubs you can beat Tiger with."
News travels fast. The Chinese are already making a movie about
Tiger Woods’ crash. They are calling it "Crouching Tiger, Hidden
Hydrant."
Tiger is now in trouble with his sponsor Gillette because he
said that "this was the closest shave I have had yet."
Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the
second hole.
It’s not often that Tiger Woods starts out with a bad drive,
hits a water hazard, and ends up in the trees.
It’s the first time Tiger’s driven less then 250 yards.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the
morning? They went clubbing.
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. Apparently
he couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Hilary in a crabby mood so I'm tootling over the moors to Whitby to grab a coupla big uns'
Enjoy your day and the slide towards the weekend!!
Cheers
Subject: The Pope
On a tour of New Zealand, the Pope took a few days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing.
He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.
A helpless man, wearing a Wallaby rugby jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws
of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched in horror, a speedboat pulled up with three men wearing All Black
rugby jerseys.
One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks side while the other two reached out and pulled the blue
semiconscious Aussie fan from the water. Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled
it into the boat..
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to him.
"I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I heard that there were some bitter hatreds between
Australian and NZ rugby fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies,
"Who was that?"
"It was the Pope" one replied.
"He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well" the harpooner said, "he may have access to God and his wisdom, but he doesn't know s**t about
shark fishing".
"Is the bait holding up OK or do we need to get another one?"
Nice to see George and some of the "Jarrow pigeon fanciers,,flat cap and whippet chasers working men's club"showing their support fo
(Looking good George!
Enjoy your Hump day Folks, it's all downhill to the weekend from here!
Cheers
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding
headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the
preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put
some coffee in front of him. “Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last
night. Was it as bad as I think?”
“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of
yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you
insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”
“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”
“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”
“Well, screw him!” said John.
“I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”
Tootling up to Newky airport to pick up Steven from a company jolly in Germany,,Hmmmm may drop in on George(Long as it's after 3pm he should be up!,,(Maybe!!
Stay warm Peeps and enjoy your Tuesday and the rest of December!!
Cheers
